The Return of This Son

There once was this man named Dwaine. A young man whose heart was once filled with song and joy, his life filled with love and compassion. However, over time Dwaine became weary and heavy-laden with  burdens he picked up along this Journey he was called to take, a pilgrimage of sorts. As Dwaine walked this path, his mind began to wander, and soon so did his feet. Instead of walking the path that had been miraculously blazed before him, he chose to walk in a different direction where light was not provided and darkness reigned. The darkness began to envelope him and close in on the life that was given to serve the purpose of the Great Adventurer. Soon he had lost his way. His heart set on only himself, however, the path was not forgotten. In Dwaine's mind the path was always there but he couldn't see it very clearly. As the days wore on, he trekked deeper and deeper into a place he did not know and could not see. He became blinded and numbed to what was going on around him. He could not see the thorns but even when he stepped on them, he could not feel them penetrating his foot or scratching his skin. The only time he felt the pain was when he felt weak and remembered the Light he had been given as a guide. When he opened the Light, he saw the effects of his blindness and felt the pain that partnered with it. 

The wounds eventually healed but with every scratch, Dwaine's resolve grew weaker and his wisdom ran low. With every step he took, he stepped further and further away from the path blazed for him, until one day he could not go further, he could not take another step not knowing where he was or in what direction he was walking. The only direction he needed now, was the direction he needed to walk to head back to that blazed path, the Journey intended. With all his might, Dwaine reached up and cried out, "My whole life I place in Your hands. God of mercy, humbled I bow down in Your Presence at Your Throne. I want to be where You are!! In my life be lifted high. In my world be lifted high. In my love be lifted high!"

At that moment, the scene changed. Light flooded the darkness. The thorns and weeds dispersed. The snakes and scorpions attempted to flee but were squashed, as if by a great foot. Frightened by the immense light that pulsated and pierced his very being, Dwaine could not help but buckle over in order to shield himself from the light. Slowly, it started to warm his core and he began to adjust to, what seemed like, his new surroundings. When he opened his eyes, everything was so familiar. Dwaine looked down and saw the rich green grass under his feet. As he lifted his eyes, he saw the plain stretch farther than he could see. He turned around and found that he was about 10 metres from the edge of a great cliff that dropped off into a calm, yet powerful, ocean which met a sunrise kissed horizon. That horizon introduced a sky which seemed as though it was on fire, as the sun's rays hit the edges of clouds. However, amidst all this beauty, something, no, Someone caught his attention. Dwaine's eyes turned and saw Him. His face so beautiful that he wanted to stare into it and never look away but yet, this same face held so much power that he could not keep looking. Something started to happen. Dwaine's dread changed to excitement, his mourning into joy. He picked himself up and ran as fast as he could, a smile leaping from one edge of his mouth to the other. As he ran, Dwaine felt a new energy surging through his veins. The Man started to run as well as He, too, was filled with joy, as a father is when his son returns from a long journey. They met and embraced for what seemed like an eternity to Dwaine. Tears of joy streamed down their faces as their hearts inter-twined.

    "Where have I been, Lord? Where did I go?" asked Dwaine.

    "You wandered from your path for a short while, Dwaine. But now you have returned to Me. You called to Me and I answered," Jesus replied.

Jesus' height dwarfed Dwaine as he placed his ear on his Lord's chest, still smiling as he listened to Jesus' thunderous heartbeat. Songs began to fill Dwaine's heart again. He thought about the question he had just asked and realised that he had not asked where Jesus had been all this time. It dawned on him why he had not asked that. He remembered that promise, "Never will I leave you nor will I forsake you." The smile remained on his face.

    After a while, Jesus and Dwaine started to walk towards the edge of the cliff. As they walked Dwaine asked, "Lord, where am I going?" 

    Jesus smiled and replied, "You must come on an adventure with Me. It'll just be you and Me."

    "But where are we going?"

    "We must cross this ocean."

    "When will we go?"

    "The ship is ready to leave at any time."

Before Dwaine could ask the next question of "If we go by sea, will that mean it will be perilous?" the answer flooded his mind with the reminder of when Jesus disciples crossed the Sea of Galilee and a storm raged around them. While the disciples stressed about the ship being torn apart and them drowning, Jesus slept below deck. When the disciples woke Jesus, he came on deck and commanded the storm to cease. Jesus said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" 

    He then said to Jesus, "I must prepare myself for I am to leave my family, my brothers and my sisters. This is a cross I must bear in order that I may follow you wholeheartedly. Let me go to them, so that I may leave them in love and sincerity."

    "You may go but I will go with you. You are weak and for that reason, you will need My strength to endure this part of the adventure. It has been your weakness in the past but My grace is sufficient for you and My power is made perfect in weakness."

Dwaine sat with his Lord for a time but they rose again. Dwaine's heart fluttered with grief, as the love he has for his family weighed him down but strength filled him again. 

As they walked away from the cliff to begin their journey together, a song filled Dwaine's heart , "Here I am, O Lord. Here I am, O Lord. You are good. Jesus, my hope is in You."

Hiding Place

Well, I haven't got much to say today.

The only thing really to say is that my heart is so burdened for one of my close friends, Nathaniel. On Monday morning, he got a call from his mom in SA to tell him that his dad had a heart attack and passed away. How hard it must be to be so far away from your family at a time like this. My heart hurts for him coz I don't know how I would have coped if I was far from the UK when my mom died. I spoke to him tonight and he sounds like he is coping well, but even he said he doesn't know how things will turn out when he gets back to SA on Sunday and his dad is not at the airport to hug him. I'm crying at the thought of it myself. I would break down if my dad wasn't there to see me after a year. Oh God!! Be with Nathaniel...

I got this new album by a Canadian band "Starfield". I heard the last track on the album, which is called "Hiding Place" and the lyrics are just absolutely AMAZING!! They speak to me in a way that I can't explain. I've shared them with Nathaniel coz I think it's important during times like these to remember that we have a Daddy that we can always run to in bad times or should I say is always there with us for us to turn to. Here are the lyrics:

Hiding Place

written by Tim Neufield & Jon Neufield

In the shadows 

I can hear Your voice singing to me

In the valley 

I can hear Your heart reaching for me now

And I weep

Flooded with the strength

Of Your Peace

You're my Defender

The shield of my heart

You are my Hiding Place

When terror surrounds me

You keep me from harm

You are my Hiding Place

In the darkness

I can feel Your light wrap around me

In my suffering

I can feel Your joy rising in me now

And I weep

Flooded with the strength

Of Your Peace

Here before You

Jesus in this place

Here before you now

Face to face

Under the shelter of the Most High

Will I be safe

And will I abide

If you want to listen to the song go to YouTube and search for "Starfield Hiding Place"

All my love,

Dwaine

With Great Disappointment Comes Great Adventure...

Well, looking back on today, I see so many things, both in myself and in the adventure which is the Apostolic nature of God. Here is my Monday story...

Actually, I am going to start with Sunday. Yesterday was just an absolutely amazing day. I spent the whole day with family which is one of the greatest things ever. Ok, so it was my church family but they're my family nonetheless. Apart from that, Church was just...what can i say? AMAZING! God came through in worship in the same awesome way that He has been for the last couple of months. God is working in such an amazing way at BCI at the moment. He comes through and fills the hall with His glorious presence and touches the very depths of every member of the congregation's soul. These times bring such a great revelation of Psalm 42:7 - 

"[Roaring] deep calls to [roaring] deep at the thunder of Your waterspouts; all Your breakers and Your rolling waves have gone over me."

I walk away from every Sunday service feeling like I have met face to face with my King, my Dad, my All Consuming One. It's the most amazing feeling ever!!! The Lord is truly good...

So apart from getting home with a pounding tension headache and having been in the freezing cold called the British Outdoors for an hour waiting for buses, etc. I had a great day. In fact, the weekend was over all just great. Especially with a 42-6 Springbok win over England at Twickenham.

So, Monday arrives...GULP!! 

It started really well actually. Everything was going pretty well until around 10:30am. I got an e-mail from our HR department with a resolution to the case I had opened to find out what help the company could offer me for my work permit application. Well, you can probably guess what it said. I'll tell you anyways. It said something along the lines of "we are unable to sponsor a work permit unless the position in question can not be filled by another citizen in the UK." Well, in a matter of 5 mins my whole day was dashed, broken, smashed and swept into the closest rubbish bin. In fact, not just the whole day but the next 3-4 months coz now I will have this thing looming over my head that I'll have to pack up my tent and move back to my origin.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Everything that I thought my life would be is no longer. I almost feel like I was a part of the group of Hebrews that was left after Korah and his followers were burned to a crisp and swallowed by the Earth: moving from where they were back to the Red Sea. "Why go back when I am so close to the promised land?" All of a sudden I start seeing this as the story of my life. When things are going well, I don't put so much into my relationship with God but when things get bad, the why's and where's and what's fly. God forgive me!!

"'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways', says the Lord" (Is 55:8)

I won't lie to you, the thought of having to leave my life, my family and my friends here scares me in a way that I can not even describe. But I have to keep focussed on the fact that my God is the God over the universe. He holds ALL things in the palm of His hand. And to be honest, I should have known that God would move me. It is probably the most difficult part of moving alongside the Apostolic nature of God. He is a sending and moving God. He is not a staying God. Our God is a pilgrim, a pioneer and so He yearns to raise His people up to be the same. What a privilege to be a part of all of that! What a privilege to be CHOSEN to move with God in the flows of the Apostolic, to take His Good News to a people, a city, a nation so in need of His love. The Apostolic is an adventure and in almost every adventure there are casualties and disappointments but those tend to make one stronger and more aware. 

I am on this adventure now and there is no turning back. No matter where this adventure takes me, I will seek to see His Kingdom established in my own life and in the lives of those around me. I will not be anchored at this shore, nor do I think that I will be anchored at any shore. God's call is MUCH bigger than one nation. It is a GREAT ADVENTURE!   

"I live each day for You

I breathe each breath for You

I give my life to You

King of the Heavens

Exalted forever!"

A Privilege called Faith

Well, this is the first official blog. The first official 'story' to tell... Where to start?

Firstly, I want to share a little bit about what God is doing in my heart right now.

I'm busy reading this book called "Sons of Encouragement" by Francine Rivers. It covers the lives of Aaron (The Priest), Caleb (The Warrior), Jonathan (The Prince), Amos (The Prophet) and Silas (The Scribe). I've finished The Priest and am busy reading The Warrior. All I can say is that I have been bowled over by how Francine Rivers portrays the faith these men had. Sure they had their faults and their failings but overall, their faith in God has really stirred my heart. It has also challenged me in such a HUGE way. It shown me how my faith waivers at times. When it comes to big things I trust God but when it comes to small, and seemingly insignificant things, I don't trust Him. Ultimately, I need to have God right at the top. Kind of like how the buck had to trust in anything it would trust the lion for everything, coz in the wild, the lion would be at the top of the food chain. I need to place God back at the top of my list. He needs to be my ultimate priority in ALL things. Just as Moses waited on God before he did anything, I should wait on Him and seek His direction. Whilst on that topic, I want to give you a bit of feedback on something that happened today:

After I got my iPhone a few months ago, I had no need for my iPod so I put it in my bedside drawer as a just in case. While Jared was here last week, I contemplated giving it to him but something held me back from doing so. Today while on my way home from work, I felt God tell me to give my iPod to someone in particular. So got all the cables, etc together and gave it to that person. She had such a big smile on her face. In fact, she almost didn't want to believe that I had GIVEN my iPod to her. God had blessed this girl to the point where she was almost in tears and it brings joy to my heart that I was willing enough to seek God on who I should give it to and obedient enough to let go of something that initially got me into a bit of debt while in South Africa. However, above all of that, God was glorified! I was stoked that God had chosen me, to serve His purpose, to bless His daughter with the thing she had been trusting for, even though I sin so often. God was glorified!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!! Just like Aaron... He was willing to follow God's instruction. His pride often got in the way, but he will followed. Then he builds the golden calf but God still chose to forgive Him and USE HIM. Aaron was set apart to be the High Priest, a deliverer of God's word, the one who offers a morning and evening sacrifice for the sons of his people. What a privilege!!! 

Where was I?? Oh yes!! Seeking direction... By doing this, we end the rumour in our hearts  that I can do it.  It's like a car engine saying that it can drive a car by itself without fuel. Just as the car engine needs fuel, we need God in order to fulfill the Purposes He has set apart for us to do. 

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, brothers, in view of God's mercy lay down your lives as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. For this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing if your mind, so that you can test and approve what God's will is. His good, pleasing and perfect will.

I wanna be fueled by the God that poured out manna, quail and water to a grumbling people in the desert. I want God IN all the things that I do. I don't ever want to be found in a place that God has not lead me to. The only way to do that, is to lay down ALL that I am, in order that I may live as all that He is. 

Lord, lead me to my promised land but help me to not grumble along the way but trust You in ALL things. Help me to be the leader and brother You have called me to be, to walk in faith and reverent fear of You and to only follow where Your feet have trod. I lay down my life. I give it ALL to You, my King. The life of this son belongs to You, my Dad.

The first blog...

Well, I started this thing up and I suppose I better put the first blog on...

I hereby declare this blog active!!!

By the way, the video bar at the top here holds 3 links to a 3 part video I made of Birmingham Church International, it's people and Birmingham and it's people.

Love ya...

Dwaine